First physiotherapy session done and many home “workouts” to do at home before the next one! I was so happy to be able to go for a brunch and see Captain Marvel last weekend (loved it!) and just stretch my legs a bit and do normal stuff.
It doesn’t take much to have my injured foot tired and aching but I am slowly getting better so I thought I’d share some things I’ve noticed about recovering during these past months.
This was my first injury of this severity and it surprised me how I didn’t feel like myself at all during the worst weeks of the injury. But as the pain got easier, I was able to have better moments and reflect about how I was really feeling.
I’m not the easiest patient to live with and I can admit that many, many times I really felt sorry for my husband who not only had to take care of most of the house chores after work days, but also he had to take care of a wife who was reluctant to accept help. 😦
Some not so nice things I discovered about myself during these weeks
• I need something meaningful to do to feel that I still serve some purpose.
• I absolutely hate feeling helpless and get very quickly very frustrated.
• It is very difficult to ask for help with the simple everyday things.
• It’s so easy to slip to a vortex of pessimism about everything when it hurts constantly.
• Time slows down when in pain and being just cooped up makes it difficult to visualize life after the injury is done.
• I was feeling very angry at myself for not being able to heal faster (as if I could somehow control it) and unrealistic expectations led to even more frustrations.
• Losing independence was a major shock-like feeling: not being able to walk or drive whenever I wanted felt really unnatural. Even getting anything from an upper-shelf was impossible (I still need help with that).
• When suddenly regular exercising stops, it will hurt everywhere for a while. That was literally a pain in the ass and I am also constantly aware of possible weight gain and losing muscle mass. Not helping with the overall feeling.
• I am an introvert, and need some solitude every day, but it’s totally different when it’s not voluntary. I got lonely being all the time at home and on the other hand I’m a bit nervous of getting back to being social after being at home for a few months.
Ways to counter those negative feelings
- Accept help, I need it and it is offered willingly. I am not a burden.
- Consider talking to a professional for additional help and perspective.
- Whenever I had even a bit less pain, I actively tried to do something that made me feel good or even happy. Things like:
- Grocery orders. They were still done by me even if I wasn’t able to cook (too much standing) so I felt a bit more useful at home
- Watching favorite tv series
- Reading to keep up with the Reading Challenge I’m doing
- I drafted blog posts when I could, it made me feel like I was doing something with a purpose before I could go back to work
- Stretching and doing some upper body workout moves to counter being on the couch all the time
- Remote work saved a lot of my sanity when I was able to start it
- As Elsa said: let it goooo!
- Accept that it will take a long time to feel “normal” again.
- Stop trying to bargain with yourself to try and recover faster by some miracle
- Let go of expectations and plans and let recovering happen at its own pace
For the record, it’s still not easy and I struggle to keep up with my own advice to counter negative feelings.
For instance: I’ve always been a planner (my husband would say control freak) and it pains me to not be able to do plans for a holiday trip. I get two steps forward with the recovery and that’s when I feel I can do anything and plan everything….And then the recovery goes one step backwards and we’re back in being frustrated and upset. And repeat.
It’s going to be a long spring. 😀
